Fear Of Disconnection

I'm Not Enough The Way I Am

It's simple, really.

In order to make deep connection, you have to be willing to be seen, really seen -- and that is very scary.

What if they don't like the "real" you?

What if you don't like the real you?

Understand that the vast majority of on-air talent has no aspiration to be more than a pleasant voice, able to make people laugh in large enough numbers that they don't lose their jobs this year.

I'm not talking to those people.

I'm talking to those of you who have always felt the need to do something bigger, to make more of an impact on lives than does the voice coming out of the drive-up speaker at Starbucks.

Its not that you can't be funny ever, it's that you can be so much more than funny and therein lies the deepest connections.

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I've shared Brené Brown with you before, but today I want you to focus on a few things she is saying...

"...the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection."

"It's a long walk from 'What will people think?' to 'I am enough.' "

"The most beautiful things I look back on in my life are coming out from underneath things I didn't know I could get out from. The moments I look back on, the moments in my life that made me, were moments of struggle."

"Hope is a function of struggle. Hope is not an emotion but rather a cognitive behavioral process. We learn when we experience adversity, when we have relationships that are trustworthy, when people have faith in our ability to get out of a jam."

"If courage is a value we hold as important ... vulnerability is the only way in and through. It starts by an openness to seeing ourselves and seeing how we are protecting ourselves from vulnerability."

"Most of us are brave, and afraid, in the exact same moment, all day long."

Yes, you risk rejection, perhaps scorn, and certainly failure by being vulnerable on-air. Not many air talents try it. Not many PDs understand it. I know of only one right now in America who expects it of herself and her staff every shift, every day.

But it is the only way to deeper connection.

And BTW, that one PD's station is not only ranked #1 in every adult demo cell, it has more than double the share of its closest competitor and has had all year.

We all struggle. We all fail. We all are bruised. Share some of these stories, even if you think they reflect badly on you.

You don't have to share everything to be noticed, but you need to share more than time and temperature and a bunch of positioning liners, jokes and double entendres.

And when you do, the result is so powerful, you become a force that cannot be contained within the speakers of a car radio.

If you've felt that calling, that need to connect more deeply, listen to it. Take the risk. If you need help, or encouragement, I will do that for you.

One break a day. One glimpse behind that personal curtain that protects you from those who hear you. One authentic emotional moment of sharing of the real you.

Start that "...long walk from 'What will people think?' to 'I am enough!'"